Mental Health Conference

Humm, well everything has gone pretty smooth these past few days. Husband is back from business trip, little son has been behaving normally (what ever that is) and big son is studying hard. Just the usual stuff, but nothing out the ordinary. Isn't it interesting that when everything is going fine I have nothing to write about? What's with that?

Oh, I have something funny to tell. Last week I went to this conference for my CEU's (continuing education credits). I need a certain amount of CEU's in order to renew my social work license, which essentially allows me to work. Well, the amount was recently doubled so now I have to get these thing quick. Anyway, I signed up to this conference which is very convenient and chock full of CEU's. Now, this conference is for mental health professionals, and traditionally has provided some really engaging workshops and dynamic speakers like Tom Wolfe, Cornell West and Mario Cuomo, just to name a few. However, in recent years, it has gotten a little too 'crunchy' for me; there's a little too much yoga, meditation and guided imagery for my liking.

Anyway, the first day was 'creativity day' (see what I mean?) and I went to a conference about 'conscious eating'. Well, as soon as I walked in I saw a room full of obese people and a few anorexics peppered throughout the crowd. I had thought this conference was for treatment providers, but I quickly realized it was for those who suffer as well.

Now I don't want to be a hypocrite. I obviously have my own problems; those in mental health are NOT the bastions of sanity. And, like most women, I have had my issues with my weight. I was a heavy teenager, and lost about 20 lbs. in college thanks to a healthy diet of eating less, partying, dancing, and designer drugs. Then, after I had kids, put on 10 - 15 lbs which I have not been able to take off, no matter how much I exercised or dieted. When I turned 40 I thought that was going to be my moment to stay motivated and to get thin, but instead I resigned myself to being 10 lbs overweight. Hey, I'm 40 for God's sake, enough is enough.

Anyway, back to the conference. So I'm sitting amongst these enormous woman, and listening to this speaker who appeared to be more obsessed with her body and food then probably anyone in the audience. The entire experience felt like a contradiction. Here are all these people obsessed with food and eating, talking about food and eating! We sit in small groups and talk about it, we sit in large groups and listen to the speaker talk about it, we close our eyes and visualize it. What is wrong with this picture!

The final straw was during the final 45 minute guided imagery we had to endure at the end of the day. We had to close our eyes and listen to the corny music she played about loving ourselves and our bodies. Then she told us to get comfortable. I found this impossible to do in a conference room filled with people (big people!), sitting on a semi padded chair with no arm rests to lean on. As I struggled to find a comfortable position, I tried the deep breathing she directed us to do, and almost gagged on the stale, hot, sweaty air which had filled the room through the course of the day. She talked in her best 'mediation' voice (you know, that deep, slow, whispery type of voice) and tried to get us in touch with our bodies and our minds.

Well, as she 'guiding' us, my mind began to drift. All the talk of food began to get to me. Hummm....What should I cook for dinner? And, wow, I could really use I sandwich about now, on a fresh, crunchy baguette....

Then she asked, 'what is your body feeling right now?' HUNGRY! I answered in my head, AND BORED....AND RESTLESS. I'VE BEEN SITTING IN THIS ROOM ALL DAY, AND NOW MY BODY JUST WANTS TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

Then she asked the question, 'If you could give your body and your mind what it wanted, right now, what would you give it? Can you give it?'. I said in my head, YES, I CAN! So I got up and left.

Needless to say, it was very liberating.