The Storm After the Calm

Before I get into today's escapades, I have to say that someone wrote a really nice comment about my 3/15 post. It really warmed my heart. Thank you Anonymous!

OK, now back to business. After his blissful day of playing hookey yesterday it was back to the grind stone for little son. I arranged for a play date after school so he wouldn't have to go to after care while I was at a conference. So I pick him up at 5:00 and he seems happy, playing with his friend. The Mom reports things went pretty well except for a minor excursion into the middle of the street to retrieve a ball (he knows better!). So we leave, and I'm relieved because everything seems to have worked out. Well, as soon as we walk half way up the block a huge tantrum starts. I have no idea what set him off other then it involved his brother. And let me tell you, it was a whopper!

He used to have tantrums like this frequently, but they subsided at least a year or so ago. So this incident was very regressive. Remember, he's 5, not 2. He does some typical maneuvers, like lying on the ground, screaming, crying, etc. But he can also get physically aggressive, hitting scratching, pulling hair. However, the scary part is sometimes he tries to run into the street. Yep. The street. And he'll go for it until I stop him. I don't know if it's a threat or if he'll really go all the way, because I don't let him get that far; I always grab him before he gets into any danger. But it absolutely scares the shit out of me. I don't know why he does this. I don't think he wants to hurt himself (at least I hope not!). It's more like an impulsive, angry, 'take that' gesture. Like 'look what I'm going to do now' type of gesture. It also seems like he's trying to punish me by threatening to hurt himself, though I know that seems backwards. I think it's his way of saying 'fuck you' without having to curse. For whatever the reason it is terrifying, and freaks me out because I think it's extreme, weird, bordering on the demented, abnormal, and the obvious - extremely dangerous.

Well, back to the tantrum at hand. So he starts to completely loose it. He's rolling on the ground, kicking and screaming. Then he starts the 'running into the street' shit. Every time I grab his arm he drops to the ground like a sack of cement, so I start dragging him up the block trying to get him home (mind you, we only live a block away!). Now I'm trying to stay clam but my patients are quickly evaporating. The scene begins to escalate, he screaming and me trying to calm him down by yelling (yeah, that's a smart way to handle it!). Now I'm worried that before someone calls the police for child abuse I'm going to pull his arm out of it's socket while I'm dragging him home, but I can't let him go because I'm scared he's going to run into the street, and I can't stand there and wait because we would be there all night! Well, we're almost home, he's walking a bit now so I don't have to drag him the whole way, but then he drops down again, and as I crouch down with him (because I won't let go of his hand) out of no where, he clocks me right in the face with his foot. Well, that was the last straw. I pick him up, he is screaming and squirming in my arms, scratching me (which drew blood!) and haul him back to the house. I get him inside, lock all the doors and take all the keys. He's going nuts at this point, beating on the doors, trying to get out of the house, looking for hammers, or any sort of instrument to bust the door down. Remember, this kids is 5, and three and a half feet tall.

Well, to make a long story short (too late for that) about 20 minutes later things clam down. He eats dinner (which makes things 100% better), I give him a quick bath and put him right to bed. He falls asleep immediately.

Oh my God. What am I going to do with this kid?! It's times like this I feel like becoming a heavy drinker (I don't drink that much, but let me tell you, I was ready to pour myself something after this escapade). Either that, or run into the street myself.

I'm just telling myself, just like I told him, tomorrow is a new day. Let's be rid of this one, chalk it up to the residual affects of lack of sleep, hunger and previous illness. What more can you do? You have to go on, and you have to give yourself a reason to be optimistic. Otherwise we would probably all be running into the middle of the street.