I'm Back

I'm back from vacation, and feel exhausted. I thought vacations were supposed to feel restful? It was a fun trip however. Not to bore you with the details here it is in a nutshell:

GOOD STUFF: lots of beaching, swimming, canoeing, eating, drinking. Visited with lots of family and old friends. Read a book. Celebrated 2 birthdays - 6 and 11.

BAD STUFF: my husband herniated a disk in his 'cervical spine' and was in a lot of pain. Love handles now droop over my pants. 11 year old got stung by a jellyfish. Spent a lot of money. Fought a lot with 11 yr old.

I have a new diagnosis for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the bible for diagnosis amongst mental health professionals: Premature Adolescence. To put it mildly, my older son was a bit of a downer this trip. He was constantly complaining of being bored and had no ideas about what to do to amuse himself. He was very testy, rude, and provocative, we fought frequently, and he slept until 11:00 every morning. I thought this wasn't supposed to happen for another year or two? Well, euphemistically speaking, I did not handle it gracefully. For some reason I have always held the belief I was going to be a 'cool' teenager mom, but if this trip was evidence of anything coming my way in the future, I'm in trouble. I just had no patience for it, and was testy and rude, yelled, and caused a mild scene in a restaurant.

Thankfully we are now home and today is his 2ed day of camp. He is out of my hair and surrounded by other kids, and thus his mood seems to have improved a bit. But here's the ironic thing; I have been in a complete state of anxiety since yesterday. I'm worried about him getting over heated (it's 100 degrees here), I'm worried about his asthma, I'm worried that I didn't pack him a hat (even though I packed him a weeks worth of clothes in his back pack - mind you, this is a day camp). And today he's going to a water park, and he's never been down a water slide before. I find my behavior a bit puzzling to say the least. You would think after a month of dealing with Oscar the Grouch I would be glad to get rid of him for a few hours. I'm not ready for adolescence! I'm not ready for him to grow up and individuate! I guess I'm just not ready to let him go this soon. I am not ready to surrender to the teenage monster that is mustering up strength inside of him. He was so sweet and good. Now he seems like a basket full of raging hormones, and I just can't swallow it yet. I guess this is why mother nature invented adolescence: you have to separate from your kids somehow, and at this rate I may be kicking him out the door by the end of the summer.